Better Off Without You
by mioneshipper
Summary: Hermione and Severus are dating but when things get serious it all goes wrong. In aiming to keep her away from harm, the very opposite happens. Graphic Sex&Rape in the future.
1. The Night

It was past midnight at Grimmauld Place, a small light spilled into the hall from the kitchen, where Hermione was anxiously pacing. Everyone else had long been sent or retired to bed, but Hermione had quietly snuck downstairs to wait. Her arms were folded as she slowly walked the lengths of the kitchen, her mind was racing through multiple possibilities. Nothing could bring her to sleep on a night like this and her bushy hair and tired expression showed her unruly lack of sleep. A cold mug of tea sat solemnly on the wooden counter along with her watch and the Daily Prophet. On the front cover of the folded paper was the moving image of a Ministry worker, standing outside a destroyed wizarding family home. Hermiones eyes glanced to the watch as she passed it, noting the time. Her quiet pacing was interrupted however with the minute click of the front door closing. Hermione rushed to the kitchen door and swung it open, stepping out into the hall. The very man she had been waiting for stood tired and weary in the hall.

"Severus" she breathed, as she hurried to the man and embraced him.

Severus took her in his arms lightly but quickly moved away.

"Severus what's wrong?" Hermione whispered as she searched his eyes for the answer.

Snape looked to the stairway and decided to move elsewhere. He lightly took Hermiones hand and led her to the kitchen. When they finally stood inside Hermione closed the door behind her and watched him worriedly.

"What happened?" her voice was barely audible in the empty room.

Snape hesitated a long moment.

"Things had gotten far worse than I expected tonight" he paused

"The Dark Lord has never been so crude" Snapes voice was beginning to rise and Hermione felt her nervousness stir.

"What do you mean?"

"I had to….I was forced to…"

Severus Snape bent over the large wooden table, placing both palms hard against the blistering wood. Hermione waited patiently for him to speak. Severus took a deep breath before conveying his story properly.

"A girl was brought in. Around the age of seventeen." His voice began to break; yet he struggled to remain contained.

"He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had ordered this young muggle to be tortured…in the most vile of ways. Each Death Eater who wished to could have his way with her."

Hermiones breathing began to falter, she knew from Severus' stories that these men would not have been in any way merciful. Severus turned to face her, tears glistening in his eyes and began to walk towards her.

"I didn't touch her, but to watch was - "

Hermione let out a small sob and moved to hold him.

Severus buried his face in her hair and pressed his lips against her blessed head.

"It's over, It's over now." Hermione kissed his chest and moved her soft lips slowly to his cool neck. His breathing was ragged and his eyelids shut but Hermione aimed to calm him; she stood on her toes and pressed her forehead to his.

"I love you. You are nothing like them. You're the bravest man I've ever known."

Severus swayed and held Hermione tightly as she pressed her lips softly to his. He kissed her firmly back and caressed her lower back.

"I love you." he mused.

They continued to embrace and kiss, not wishing to waste a moment of each other's company. They're lips broke apart and reunited, brushed and wrestled. Each felt every inch of the other, exploring chests, backs, necks and cheeks. Warm skin on warm skin. Hermione felt an aching; she wanted Severus so intensely. Something deep within her wanted to burst from inside her and attach to him, but she felt without her physical being she would not feel this, this overwhelming sense that if she let go of him she would break. Severus needed her. But he was haunted from his earlier experience. His stomach grinded remembering the unnatural events that had occurred and suddenly he felt as evil as each of those men. His lips left hers and his grip was slightly loosened. Hermione struggled to let go the slightest but thought it best.

"Hermione I – "

A creaking of floorboards and the two lovers moved apart, much to Hermiones dislike.

The door of the kitchen creaked open and Snapes face turned to the composed and partly distant mask it always did, which upset Hermione at this time and place.

She turned and walked a little length of the kitchen, away from the door and the intruder, who she did not wish to talk to.

"Ah Severus." The enthusiastic voice of Mr. Weasley was easily recognised.

"Arthur."

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep and neither could Remus. I'd decided to come down for a quick tea when I bumped into him in the hall."

The door creaked ajar and Remus Lupin was revealed, a crooked smile upon his face.

Severus nodded and turned, reaching for his wand and waving it at the kettle.

"Of course, I'll join you. Ms. Granger also found sleep was evading her this evening."

"Ah Hermione, didn't see you there. By god you're up late! When did you get back Severus?"

Severus conjured four mugs and each of them, along with the kettle landed soundly on the kitchen table, with four teabags.

"Only a moment ago and Ms. Granger arrived downstairs not long before you."

Hermione had now made her way slowly to the table, taking a seat next to Arthur Weasley, who was sitting across from Remus and Snape.

"I don't know why I couldn't sleep." Hermione tried not to look to Severus and smiled weakly at Arthur.

Arthur smiled widely and looked to Remus.

"Maybe we'll let Molly do all the cooking from now on eh Remus?"

Lupin chuckled lightly and smiled.

"I agree Arthur."

Tea was made and after some small conversation Hermione excused herself to bed. All the others also agreed that they too would leave to try and sleep, including Severus. Hermione left the kitchen last however as she volunteered to clean up after the others, vanishing the mugs and replacing everything. When the kitchen was back to normality and she reached the staircase Severus was waiting for her. The darkness of the hall left deep shadows along his face, dark crevices across his withered expression. It broke Hermione a little to see him this way. Without a word to each other, she followed him up the stairway to his bedroom. They silently undressed and slid into the soft bed sheets. Hermione buried her face into his warm chest and after a long pause the atmosphere was tense.

"Are you alright?" Hermione asked, gently stroking his chest.

Severus kissed her forehead and nodded.

"Yes, I'll be fine."

Another long pause filled the room.

"Goodnight Hermione."

Severus rolled over onto his side, facing away from Hermione.

Hermiones eyebrows furrowed as she nodded slightly, trying to accept this distance. But she couldn't help but feel hurt and alone. After a moment she too turned over and tried to sleep.


	2. When Things Change

Severus woke early that morning. He had barely been able to sleep yet he didn't hesitate in getting up. He looked to the young woman who meant everything, sleeping next to him. Hermione really was what and whom he gravitated towards in his life. That's why he worried so deeply for her. For her safety first and foremost, if Voldemort ever got wind of their situation Snape was sure Hermione could fall to a similar fate the girl of last night had. That was something he couldn't risk. Secondly, he wondered if he was taking advantage of Hermione. She was a good few years older than the other girl, but Severus couldn't help but wonder if he was being selfish. The love he felt for her was indescribable, they had been together now for at least a year and he would do anything for her. To think of something so cruel to happen to her because of his selfish _love_, was too much.

"I'll miss you Hermione Granger." he said in barely a whisper.

His eyes stung and so did his chest with his realisation. A lump began to build in his throat but Severus cleared it. He knew what he had to do and he had to be strong for her sake. He planted a kiss on Hermiones soft cheek and stood to dress.

Hermione stirred, awaking from a light sleep. Her eyes glanced up and Severus was still in the room, almost dressed. She watched as he finished dressing, the light shining along his back and smiling to herself but soon she remembered last night.

"Morning." She whispered, hoping he would be less distant and let her help him.

Severus stopped dead in his tracks.

Hermione sighed and ripped her eyes away from him; she knew things were not okay. A weight began to press on her chest as she felt the annoyance of his rejection.

"Hermione, I must leave immediately."

Hermione stopped avoiding eye contact with him, she couldn't be mad at him for long, especially when he needed her.

"Ok."

Severus felt his heart beating in his throat and with the unnerving silence, felt she could almost hear it; but Hermione was too busy feeling alone and rejected by him.

"Hermione for your safety I think it's best if we stop… "

Hermiones stomach curled. What was he saying? She knew he must have considered her while he watched the young girl being tortured. Of course she knew he would worry for her. But never had she imagined _this_.

Hermione sat up off the bed.

"What do you mean…stop?"

Severus inhaled deeply through his nose and tried to clear his throat.

"I mean that with everything that has happened, I think that our relationship should…end."

"_Nothing_ has happened." She said sternly.

"We have no choice. It's for the best."

"To keep me safe?" Hermione asked grimly.

"Yes."

"You know that there's a chance of me being hurt no matter what precaution-"

"I don't need to put you in any more danger than you already are." Severus' eyes were soft and loving as he tried to explain; he wanted her to understand.

"I can take care of myself, I'm not a child." Hermiones voice was beginning to get hysterical.

"I'm not implying that you're a child Hermione I just –"

"You just what!" tears were beginning to form in the sides of her eyes.

"I couldn't stand it if that was you! I can't imagine what that would do to me, to know that I had caused you so much pain! We can't be together anymore."

Hermiones head swirled and her mouth was too dry to say anything. She nodded faintly and lay back on the bed awkwardly. She fumbled with the sheets a minute and turned over. Severus watched this and felt he had prolonged his stay far past his welcome. He swept his cloak from the back of the desk chair and left, closing the door silently behind him. Tears wet the pillow as Hermione sobbed, her chest was tight and her eyes stung red. She gulped large breaths of air, trying to wipe away the tears. Nothing seemed to make sense. All she wanted was for Severus to turn right around and come back.

Hermione didn't know how much time had passed since Severus left. Her eyes were puffed and red although the crying had stopped. She stared absentmindedly at the wall. She didn't really know what to do now. Her whole life wasn't ruined; she wasn't that type of girl to drop everything. But Severus was it. He was _it_. He had to be it! Hermione sat up from the bed and looked around the room. Her gut wrenched, this was _his_ room. It was everything that reminded her of him. The stacks of old books and neat cases of potions and ingredients; even the dark quill laid on the desk reminded her of him. Hermione decided it was time to leave. She grabbed her clothes and dressed, quickly leaving the room. She stepped into the hall and suddenly her vision was blackened and her head collided with something hard.

"Ouch!"

"Oh Ginny I'm so sorry!"

Ginny smiled and giggled.

"It's okay."

Hermione smiled weakly and Ginny frowned.

"What's wrong?" the other girl looked into the empty room behind Hermione.

"And why were you in Snapes room?"

Ginny looked to Hermione questioningly but Hermione just smiled.

"I asked if I could borrow some ingredients and I'm fine, just having a bit of a down day."

Ginny pulled Hermione into a tight embrace.

"Let's go out tonight, we haven't gone out in ages."

Hermione nodded. She wouldn't mind a girls night out.

"Sure Ginny sounds great."

As the two women made there way to their usual pub, they stumbled, arms linked and snorting with laughter. They hadn't had a drink yet but Ginny had always been great at cheering Hermione up. However Snape was always there in her mind, popping up in every spare moment she had to think. They finally arrived at the door to the pub when they realised the lights were off inside and the doors were locked shut.

"Oh noo, it's closed!"

"Sugar!"

Ginny scanned the street, hoping to find another pub. Near the end of the street was a small alleyway with an entrance to a dark purple pub, where interesting music spilled from its doors.

"Brilliant, this way Hermione!"

Ginny pulled Hermiones arm along in the direction of the alleyway. Both Hermione and Ginny tried to peer in but the pubs doors were covered in out of date posters and business cards, peeling and decaying. They opened the old doors and moved inside. It was a dark pub, with dark red walls and a black bar but it seemed quite nice and friendly all the same. They made their way to the bar and ordered two butter beers, finding a small table to sit at.

"Any nice looking men around?" Ginny asked cheekily, scanning the room.

Hermione shrugged awkwardly and mumbled.

"No, I haven't seen any. To be honest I'm not really looking for – "

"Look over there, that guy is staring at you."

Ginny smiled widely at Hermione behind her drink, subtly indicating the man to her right, in the corner of the pub. He was actually quite good looking but like Hermione had said, she didn't want _a guy_.

"Any luck with Harry?"

"No, nothing. He doesn't seem bloody interested."

"He'll come around, I'm sure of it." Hermione smiled warmly and both women took a sip from their drinks.

"If someone does come over, that I'm interested in, I think I will go for it, get to know him."

"Go for it Ginny." Hermione smiled again and looked around the room. The guy from the corner had disappeared and Hermione was glad.

A few drinks later and Hermione and Ginny were in fits of laughter.

"Bloody Ron doesn't know what he's like!"

"He's pretty clueless sometimes!"

Both giggled profusely, gripping their stomachs and wiping stray tears from their cheek when Hermione felt the urge to use the bathroom.

"Oh god, okay now I need to pee. I'll be back in a minute Gin."

Hermione walked off happily, following the bar to a small door with a 'Ladies' sign.

She headed into the cool room and used the bathroom, when she finished she glanced into the large mirror hanging from the wall. Her mind swirled a bit from the alcohol.

"Oh Severus what I'd do for you to be here."

Hermione fixed her hair and wiped the wetness from her laughing tears from her face before leaving the bathroom. Once she'd stepped from the bathroom and had made her way a little down the bar, she noticed the man from the corner sitting at the bar with a drink. Hermione tried to look around the bar, avoiding catching his eyes. She let a sigh of relief once she'd passed him and smiled making her way to Ginny.

"Excuse me."

Hermione swerved around to see the man in black smiling at her.

"Oh uhm Hello." she smiled weakly.

"Mind if I buy you a drink?"

Hermione pressed her lips in a thin line trying to think. Eventually she nodded in submittance.

"Yes that'd be nice. If you don't mind my friend joins us?"

"Of course. My friends should be here soon as well."

Hermione smiled and nodded making her way over to Ginny. She reached the table quickly and bent down to whisper in Ginnys ear.

"Fancy coming over for a drink with the guy over at the bar?"

"Sure! He asked you did he?"

"Yes" Hermione smiled cheekily.

She didn't want anything to happen with this man, certainly not, but what's the harm?

**Thanks everyone for following so far. Hope you like this chapter, a new one should be up soon :) [they'll get longer as it goes along!] Please review!**


	3. Misery

"I've ordered you a drink." The young man smiled at Hermione as she made her way to the bar. The bartender walked over and placed two medium sized cocktails on the wooden counter.

"Thanks, this is Ginny. Ginny this is…ahm...I actually didn't catch your name." Hermione smiled.

"Gareth."

Two other men and another woman entered the pub and walked over to the three. One of the men placed a hand on Gareths back and chimed.

"Were here."

"Finally. Everyone this is Hermione and Ginny. Hermione and Ginny this is everyone."

"Nice to meet you." Ginny and Hermione nodded.

Hermione sat with her drink next to Gareth and Ginny sat next to her. To make sure Ginny wasn't excluded the three friends sat with her and began conversation.

Hermione took a sip of her drink, the green and pink mixture looked pretty appetising. When Hermione tasted the drink a strong pungent taste of alcohol filled her mouth and Hermione squinted.

"What is this!" she shook her head jokingly.

Gareth smiled and nodded to his own drink.

"They're called Whomping Marthas."

"Well they certainly taste like it!"

Gareth chuckled and sipped his own drink.

Ginny chatted with the others gladly, the men were nice enough and easy to talk to, but something about the girl wasn't right.

"So tell me Ginny what do you like to drink?" smirked Gareths most handsome friend Mike Baxley, an older man. He was wearing a dark cloak with some muggle jeans and a balck sweatshirt underneath.

"Oh well it's been butterbeers and all sorts tonight."

"A firewhiskey maybe?"

"I'm ok actually, no more drinks for me."

Mike looked at Ginny and shrugged,

"If you say so."

His eyes flickered over to Hermione and Gareth for a moment before turning to the other two.

"How about you two, a drink?"

"The usual Mic." Said the other man, with a strong Scottish accent who's name Ginny didn't know.

The girl didn't reply, she simply stared absentmindedly around the pub, bored and monotonous looking.

"And _you_ my dear?"

The girl half grimaced for a moment but without looking at Mike she mumbled

"No."

"Suit yourself."

Ginny stared at the girl; she seemed a bit ragged, in a grunge sort of way though; in an interesting way. Ginny presumed it was a fashion sense but she was so uncomfortable and bored and she found it was slightly unnerving. Ginny quickly caught a glance of Hermione who was now laughing hard and swaying slightly on her chair. Ginny smiled at Hermiones bubbly self; she hoped she'd cheered up a bit.

Hermiones head was now most definitely swinging. She had only taken five or six sips of her drink and she was completely drunk. Gareth was extremely funny and absolutely charming, touching her arm or making jokes. Hermione slapped her palms onto the bar controlling her balance.

"I think I've had a bit too much." She giggled looking to Gareth apologetically.

"Oh me too!" he said laughing along.

"Why don't we go back to my place, I only live down the road, have some water? A coffee?"

Hermione closed her eyes to stop the room spinning and the blur that was Gareth.

"Sure." She purred.

She felt an arm link hers and stumbled off her chair. Gareth pulled her the step or two to the others.

"Right were heading off." He said to his mates.

"I'll return her safe and sound." He looked to Ginny and smiled cheekily.

Ginny smiled "Okay Hermione see you tomorrow yes?"

"Sure night Gin."

Ginny felt a little suspicious of how drunk and vulnerable Hermione was and wondered how much he was taking advantage of her, but Hermione was sensible, _it's fine_ she thought.

Hermione and Gareth arrived back to his flat with a crack of apparation and soon his lips were pressing to hers.

Hermione knew full well what was happening, kissing him back. She pressed her lips forcefully on his, beginning to unbutton his shirt.

Gareth smiled as she began to undress him, his hands wandered up her thighs and he slowly undid her skirt and removed her top. Hermione tried to unbuckle his pants but failed in her drunkenness, Gareth however helped her and soon neither wore any clothes.

They fell onto the empty yet large green linen bed, their mouths clashing. Gareth ran his hand down Hermiones body, from her chest to her thighs, opening them up. Hermione let out a breath of anticipation. She knew this was so wrong but she needed someone. He travelled his hands back up caressing her breasts and planting hard kisses on her neck and collarbone. If Hermione wasn't completely numbed by alcohol she felt he might actually be hurting her, with his hard hands and gripping. Gareth kissed Hermiones neck once more as he pressed his hard member into her wet opening. She let out a loud moan and Garth smiled satisfied.

"I bet you like that."

Gareth continued to whisper words and mumblings into her ear, but she continued to ignore him, non-intentionally. She was completely out of it. She felt the pleasure of his gradually building penetration however, flutter up her stomach. Hermione moaned again with the intense pleasure. Soon this would be over.

_Don't think of him_, she thought. Not of Severus.

The beds creaks became louder and louder, along with Hermione and Gareths mixed releases of pleasure, as they both came close to finishing. But Gareth began to really get violent. Penetrating deep into her and harder than she would have liked, almost banging her against the headboard. Hermione ignored it, barely thought of it. But her pleasure seemed to end, without climaxing. She wasn't enjoying this anymore. But Hermione didn't care; she lay there, arms wrapped around him. Gareth finished with a few hard pumps and let out a hiss. Both panting, Gareth rolled over and lay flat on the bed next to her.

Hermione was beginning to feel less drugged up than before and could think straight, although her body was not fully functioning to her liking. Hermione decided she'd like to leave. She turned her eyes to Gareth who was now fast asleep on his side, turned away from her. She stood quietly and searched for her clothing, finding the trail from the door to the bed as she tripped her way through the darkness. She threw on the bare essentials and grabbed the rest, apparating from his apartment.

It was the early hours of the morning, around half four as Hermione trudged across the street to Grimmauld Place. The secret house revealed itself and Hermione opened the door, as silently as she could. She clicked the door shut and crept along the hallway hoping not to wake anyone and made her way into the kitchen. She entered the kitchen and quickly swivelled around to push the door closed quietly. When she turned around however she was met with a surprise and squealed.

"Severus!"

"You scared me." She hissed

"I'm sorry I just returned from…I needed a drink."

Hermione calmed, remembering that it was _Severus_. She nodded and held her clothes awkwardly. Oh Merlin. Why now? She looked a state and felt like a little girl. Why did he have to be here, noble and brave.

Severus looked Hermione up and down.

"Been out?" he asked almost snidely.

"Yes actually." Hermione said defensively.

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Alright."he said defeatedly, taken aback.

Hermione wanted to cry. She was going to cry right now. Why was he doing this? Why was she doing this? She hated herself for how she had acted tonight and how she was acting now.

"I just needed a drink before I went to bed." She whispered before stepping past him and heading to the sink. She took out her wand and summoned a glass from the cabinet, turning on the tap. The tap filled the gaping silence between them and when Hermione ha finished filling her glass she stirred to see him, but he was gone. Her sharp breath filled the room and she began to sob. What a mess.

"I'm so stupid!" she half whispered leaning against the counter, rubbing away the tears.

"Why did I get so drunk?" Hermione reprimanded herself, gasping in air to try and control the sobs.

The thought of Gareth made Hermione shiver. After seeing Severus again it made everything real, the fact that they were no longer together, that she had slept with someone else. Someone she barely knew and someone she really didn't care for or want to sleep with. Hermione was hit with a pang of guilt. Had she just abandoned Ginny so eagerly? Everything was wrong.

Hermione sucked in a deep breath and sipped at her water. She carried herself and her clothes up the stairway to her and Ginnys room, hoping she would be there.

Hermione opened the bedroom door hesitantly, peeping in to see if Ginny was home or even awake. The redhead lay sound asleep in her bed facing the wall and Hermione decided she didn't care if Ginny was sleeping. She tiptoed in and chucked her clothes onto her bed, moving over to the other. Hermione sat on the edge of the bed and shook Ginny gently.

"Ginny, Ginny, wake up."

Ginny stirred and let out a little groan. Her puffed eyes opened and she squinted trying to focus on whoever was waking her.

"Hermione? What's wrong?" she asked as she turned over and rested on her elbows.

"I'm sorry Ginny, I'm so sorry I shouldn't have left you in the bar. I really don't know what I was thinking."

"It's okay Hermione, I left a few minutes after you did. The others weren't really great company."

"I'm sorry." Hermione leant forward and gave Ginny a tight hug.

"I'll never do it again I promise, I feel awful. No matter what you say."

Ginny smiled pulling back from her hug.

"It's fine honestly, forget about it. What happened with Gareth?"

Hermione swallowed a sob.

"I don't want to talk about it."

Ginny frowned.

"Nothing bad happened Hermione did it?"

Hermione shook her head, grimacing tying to hold back the tears.

"No, nothing bad happened. I'm just regretting it already."

Ginny gave Hermione a sympathetic look and pulled her into another hug.

"Don't worry Hermione I won't tell anyone. You'll be fine, just forget about him."

Hermione nodded.

"I will." Hermione pulled back from the hug and smiled at her best friend.

"Goodnight Ginny."

"Night Hermione."

Hermione stood and walked to her own bed, undressing and sliding under the cool sheets.

Severus was in the library trying to find a new book to read. He picked out a large book on the effects of certain plants in potions and turned to head back to his room. On his way he passed Hermiones room and heard her speaking from inside.

"I'll never do it again I promise, I feel awful. No matter what you say."

Severus paused to listen, wondering what could have happened.

"It's fine honestly, forget about it. What happened with Gareth?"

Gareth?

"I don't want to talk about it."

Severus waited; he knew she'd say more.

"Nothing bad happened Hermione did it?"

Something rose up in Severus, a rush of adrenaline almost. A shock.

"No, nothing bad happened. I'm just regretting it already."

Severus could guess what happened. He didn't know a Gareth and hoped he never would. Whatever Hermione did was her own business but he did not want to be part of it. He made his way to his own bedroom, locking the door to find solace and peace, retracting himself from the outside world. He sat on his bed, feeling a weight pulling him down. Dragging his mood further downhill. He really missed Hermione.

"To keep her safe." He mumbled.

Severus sighed. Retiring for the night.


	4. The Morning

_A hand caressed her body. Moving its way down her soft skin. Her hips lifted to his naked body, begging for him. Severus stood in the window, watching their every move. Hermione continued to move with the man, shivering at his every touch. Severus wanted to look away, needed to look away but he couldn't. Something wouldn't let him. Suddenly he was in the room with them. It was too much, too much for him to take. Hermiones eyes shifted to look at him. His throat tightened. She was less than happy; her face was almost mutilated. She looked like she wanted to die._

"_Severus." She whispered._

He stirred with a start, sitting up abruptly. He caught his breath as best he could, relieving his dream. Snape massaged his temples. This other man situation seemed to bother him more than he thought. A large sigh escaped his chest. Severus checked the time, half six in the morning. Not two hours ago was he face to face with Hermione. But things felt different now; she wasn't his.

Hermione woke early. Her eyes opened, beginning her pounding headache. She sat up trying to find her wand so she could get some tablets or anything to take this thumping in her head away. She looked around the room but couldn't see it. After a moment of looking around she felt something disgusting slither up her chest and into her throat. Hermione stood and ran from her room into the next one, the bathroom. She ran straight into the small bathroom and protruded the contents of last nights bar visit into the loo. Hermione groaned, holding her cramping stomach.

"Wasn't last night enough." She grumbled under her breath.

"Hermione?" Severus' hesitant voice came from the door way and Hermione cringed.

"Yes?" she said impatiently.

"Are you alright?" he asked, slightly impatient with her tone himself.

"Yes, I'm fine thank you."

Hermione was sick again. Severus watched her and patiently waited for her to finish.

"How was your night?"

"Why on earth does it matter?" asked Hermione half wailing. She was now sitting on the floor her arm rested on the bowl. She hadn't looked up at him once. She wiped a tear from her face.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't pry."

Hermione let more tears slide down her cheeks and shook her head, moving away from the bowl and sitting against the wall.

"No. You shouldn't." she looked up to him, trying to hold back more tears.

"If something happened that you wish to talk about -" Snape began

"No. I do not wish to talk about any of the events of last night." She interrupted him abruptly, shaking her head.

Snape nodded curtly and stood to leave.

"But I really wouldn't mind if you sat with me." She half sobbed.

Severus smiled restrictedly and sat on the floor next to her. Hermione leant against his shoulder and he kissed her head. More tears began to fall down her face. Neither of the two knew why things couldn't work out and it crushed them. They just couldn't be together.


	5. ReUnited

Severus sat in the library of Grimmauld relishing the information from the only book he could find, that he had no previously read. It was a cool evening and was now a week since Hermione and his meeting in the bathroom and they hadn't talked since. He spent his time avoiding her for the simple reason that she needed her space as to get over him and so he spent almost every minute that he wasn't busy, head deep in a book or concocting potions "just-in-case" they were needed. He had not seen Hermione for more than thirty seconds since she was protruding alcohol remnants into the upstairs bathroom. It left a deep emptiness in him and pity for the woman who he lo - no he couldn't say it. Shouldn't. Footsteps echoed but Severus ignored them as he usually would and when the door creaked open and someone entered, walking over to the library it was not unnatural for him to take no notice.

Hermione eyed him curiously as she raked a hand over the dusty books. When he continued to ignore her she raised her eyebrows in surprise and began searching for what she needed. A familiar sniff interrupted his thoughts and caused him to look to the intruder who he now realised was the person he had aimed to avoid. She had obviously made the noise in exasperation to his ignorance of her and so Severus folded his book gently closed.

"Feeling better?"

Hermiones eyes scanned the hard covers of the books not looking toward him.

"Yes thank you. You're hangover potion helped a lot."

"I'm glad."

An uncomfortable silence followed and he decided it best to re-open his book.

Hermione reached the section of the "C's" that she had been looking for but reached the point in the section where what she was looking for no longer could exist. She sighed and looked between the two books that should be separated by the one she needed. The first book was entitled "Comedy of Wizards" and the second "Contraptions of Sorts." Hermione sighed, knowing in the first place that this was a dead end search.

"Looking for something?" he asked curiously.

Hermione bit her lip and turned her head to examine his face.

"Well…" Hermione thought about it for a second. "Yes but it's not here."

"And what might it be that you're looking for?"

Hermione turned away not wanting to reply and avoiding his gaze but Severus had already used his Ligilimens to read her mind. Goddamn the bastard. There was a long silence as he crept through her mind searching under every rock for the reason she would want the book he now knew she needed.

She felt him leave her mind with a flash of the last memory he had seen.

_Hermione let out a loud moan and Garth smiled satisfied._

"_I bet you like that."_

Hermione shivered waiting for what ever could possibly happen next.

"I see." His voce strained for words "You won't find such a book in here as I doubt Mr and Mrs Black would have approved of such a book out and about."

"Yes I guessed as much." Said Hermione quickly, her back to him.

"I advise you, that next time you research your contraceptives _before_ you engage in these activities."

"I – I know."

"And so why didn't you?" he asked abruptly, his voice building I anger.

"Well it was an unexpected –" Hermione turned to face him stubbornly. "- but I don't need to explain to you."

Severus eyed her maliciously.

"No but when you resort to immature and relentless –"

"It's still none of your business." She said sternly.

"And yet when you need a comforting hand in the bathroom I'm the perfect suitor." He said, his eyes burning into hers.

"No one made you stay with me."

"Indeed." He drawled.

"So tell me, do you know this man?"

"It's nothing to do-" she began to argue.

"-With me? Well I agree but it is not me this man is associated with."

Hermione frowned curiously.

"What are you talking about?"

"I do not know why but the Order has been following this man for a while now and I assure you his name is not Gareth." He spat the name in utter spite.

"How do you know they've been –" Hermione mumbled.

"I have seen the pictures of him that Dumbledore showed to the Order. Thankfully he is not a DeathEater but close enough from what I believe to have heard."

Hermione tried to inhale this information with passing out and as her mind swirled a dry silence filled the library.

"I assure you that you are lucky seeing as he did not know who you were and who you are affiliated with." He said quickly.

"And in the future I would advise you take extra precautionary measures to assure you do not get killed." He spat.

"Stop it." She whispered. "I can take care of myself."

"Evidently not."

Rage began to build in Hermiones gut.

"Don't treat me like a child. Like you own me. You wanted out and you left. What I do is my business and my mistakes are my mistakes." She growled.

"I know I made your life hard, with you being a Deatheater and me being _me_."

"What on earth do you mean?" he snarled.

"Well I'm a pain. I must have been. Because you'd seen things happen to girls by the hands of Voldemort and his Deatheaters and you never once thought to-"

Hermione stopped and took a deep breath attempting to chain her anger.

"I'd appreciate it if you stopped reading my mind, seeing as it is not a book to be opened when you desire!" she growled, blushing from her previous statement.

"Don't you dare think that." He breathed, standing.

Hermiones eyebrows furrowed as she read his face, confused by his words. His softness scared her slightly yet she held her ground.

"What?" she snapped.

"You were never a pain." He said seriously. Hermiones face dropped and her watery eyes burned into him.

"You were the –" he paused deliberating wether or not to go on. From somewhere within the depths of his being he plucked up the courage, taking a step forward. "You were the best thing for me but I was the worst for you. That night I witnessed – that night was an eye opener to how stupid I was. How much danger I was putting you in."

She fought to remain standing. To not throw herself at him in a tight embrace or burst into sobs.

"So please, Hermione, don't ever think that you were a burden to _me_."

Hermione could feel her entire body burn up with longing. She wanted to reach out to him, touch the man she missed. She moved closer to him and Severus could feel what she wanted and didn't stop it. She moved closer to him again, now only an inch from his face. Hermione let out a short breath of eagerness, closing her eyes.

"Severus-"

"Don't speak."

She went to open her eyes but couldn't before Severus had pressed his lips to hers in an uncontrollable passion. Hermiones entire body set fire, burning with an intense tingling of senses. She moved into him, standing on her toes and he pulled her up to him, holding her beneath her buttocks. Hermione wanted to cry, she had missed him so much she could barely breath and yet she also wanted to laugh, with the joy of finally having him again.

Severus took the steps needed to get to his bedroom. Hermione dropped from him there, pushing him slowly on the bed, never parting lips. She kissed him softly, barely brushing lips, heightening their senses before pressing lips once more. Severus slipped off Hermiones clothes easily as she pulled off his shirt and trousers. He removed her top and Hermione whimpered with lust. He pulled her hips against his, gently moving against her. Hermione caressed his chest and shoulders wanting to touch every inch of his warm skin. She pulled her lips from his, panting. She felt close to tears, but the fiery heat she felt in her core kept her going. She had missed him so much. Severus' hard erection pressed against her lower stomach and willingly Hermione moved, so that he entered her warmth and wetness. Her breath shook as he began to slowly penetrate into her and he let out a long ragged breath. Severus placed his hand on the nape of her neck, holding her face close to his. Hermione moaned in a barely audible whisper. She moved slowly with him and soon their speed was building.

Hermiones moans grew louder and Severus mumbled a curse under his breath to soundproof the room. She panted heavily as he built her into the highest heights of pleasure and Severus penetrated harder and faster. The multiple emotions that now filled her, along with the tremors of pleasure, overwhelmed her and caused her to shake. Her arms shook almost uncontrollably and he could feel the pain of being away from him caused her. He pulled her as close as possible whispered in her ear.

"I'm here."

She let out a deep sigh willing this feeling off loss to escape her and the powerful joy and pleasure to overtake it.

He could now feel it rising inside him, with each of her moans and breaths. He let out a quiet groan as Hermiones walls began to slightly pulse around him. She was almost there. Hermione let out cries of pleasure moving with him. He began to groan which each passing breath and then she felt it bubble up inside her too and let out large breaths as she came, blushing. He came too, pressing his lips hard against hers, his face pulled into a tight scowl. She ran a warm hand down his chest and he shivered from his heightened nerves. She let out a shaky breath and moved away from him, lying next to him on the bed.

He sat up and looked down at her with an unfathomable affection. He then pulled the covers back and placed a comforting hand on her lower back as she moved under them. He then joined her and shuffled into her body, holding her against him. Hermione nestled her face into his neck and kissed him softly, taking in his dark strong scent. She took a measured inhale and breathed out, feeling completely safe with him.

**Darkness. A stabbing pain. Unwillingness. Anger. Abidance.**

Darkness. Sleep. Hermiones eyes fluttered open and she sucked in a sleepy breath hazily surveying the room around her. She suspected it was still very early in the morning and seeing this she closed her eyes to sleep again. But a quick note to the feeling in her abdomen told her she needed the loo. Hermione moved quietly from under the soft black covers and stood. She tried to find her way through the room and into Severus' en suite bathroom but the darkness consumed her and she could hardly see her hand in front of her face. After clutching emptiness she finally reached a wall and in her sleepy haze felt for a door. With success she found the doorknob and opened it entering the bathroom and switching on the light.

When Hermione had finished drying her hands she moved her hand up to the light switch before opening the door, as not to wake Severus with the intrusion of unwanted light. But in a joyous thought Hermione smiled and slowly opened the bathroom door, the light still on. She waited to see his outline, lying beneath his bed covers. She waited to see the dark hair or chiselled face on the soft pillows. The naked man whom only hours ago had fixed her life. She sighed expectantly, happily and when the door opened fully she squinted. In the now dim lit bedroom she looked to the bed in the far corner and still - waited. The shaky feeling of a sudden loss returned to her as Severus Snape was no longer in his bed. She could feel her heart beat heavily in her chest as she searched the rest of the room for him, in a desperate haze. Emptiness. Hermiones legs felt numb. She switched off the bathroom light, and moved to the bed. Not to sleep. But she moved to the bed and sat upright, above the covers. She dragged her legs across the sheets, pulling her knees into her chest and leaning her chin against them. A small tear escaped her and she didn't move to wipe it away. Her naked body was cold but she didn't notice the goose bumps forming on her skin, and could not differentiate her shivering as fear of his safety, her foolishness or the chill surrounding her.


	6. Panic

Severus rushed into his bedroom with a billowing of his cape and moved to Hermione, who was sleeping upright against the headboard.

"Hermione." He tried to wake her soothingly as best he could but decided this was not the time.

"HERMIONE!" he shouted and she woke with a start.

"We need to leave."

"What?" she asked sleepily.

Severus picked her up in his arms and began striding from the room in his haste and Hermione began to panic.

"Severus what's going on? Why do we need to leave? What about everyone else!"

"I'll explain just wait."

"SEVERUS! I'm naked!"

"Keep your voice down!" he hissed. Making his way down the stairs and ripping his cloak from around his neck and throwing it over her.

"What's going on?" she asked nervously.

"DeathEaters heard of your encounter with this Gareth creature." Snape spat putting her down at the bottom of the stairs and buttoning the cloak up.

"I can do it myself." She said hurriedly looking at him while she continued buttoning.

"What does this mean?"

"It means they wish to "attend" to you." He growled fiercely.

"But then we should stay here, they don't know where –"

"They do! One of them followed me here! Everyone else has evacuated. I needed to make sure I was the one who came with you."

"But- But- what do we do? Where do we go?"

"To them."

Hermione waited. Hermione felt like she was going to pass out or throw up. Or both. What was he trying to say? The hallway swayed.

"Wh - Wh-" she tried to speak but her mouth wouldn't let her.

Severus put a hand on either of her cheeks.

"We need to go to the DeathEaters and Voldemort. I have been ordered to bring you. I promise they will not hurt you. If it's the last thing I do."

Hermione closed her eyes trying to stay couscous.

"Trust me."

"But why are we going? What's the point? If you can't – _give_ me to them."

"You will be placed in the dungeons" – he sighed – "alone. For only a matter of hours." He said hurriedly.

"I will make sure not one man goes down to you do you understand me?"

Hermione nodded quickly, swallowing the bile in her throat.

Snape pressed his lips to hers roughly and after a moment Hermione realised she wasn't kissing him back and returned the pressure.

"After a while The Order will attack. Yaxley may have followed me here but I sent a patronus that Yaxley was unaware of to tell everyone to leave. He does not know this is the headquarters. Listen to me Hermione. You do not speak to anyone."

She nodded half heartedly.

"Ready?" he asked hesitantly.

"How did they know about Gareth or whatever his name is?" she asked almost inaudibly.

"He's an ex DeathEater."


	7. Torment

Hermione and Severus entered through the front door of the Manner holding hands. She gripped his as best she could, but could feel her hands going limp with fear. As soon as they were fully inside he let go of hers and she did the same unwillingly. She swallowed folding her arms and looked around.

"Well, well Severus." Came the confident voice of a DeathEater, leaning against the sitting room doorway.

Hermione turned frightened and watched him carefully, a stubborn scowl crawling across her face. Severus' voice was unnervingly calm and almost excited.

"Yes Indeed. Let's bring her in shall we."

He grabbed Hermione by the forearm and pulled her into the sitting room. She knew he was acting but it still bubbled panic through her stomach.

"Severus." The chilling voice of Voldemort caused her to choke.

"My Lord" he bowed "I have brought the mudblood but I must suggest we keep her in the dungeons for some time before you use her." Severus gripped her arm tighter, hurting her to an extent. Whether in fear of losing her to someone else or to seem rough with her she didn't know.

Draco Malfoy sat in a green armchair, staring in to the blazing fire and in hearing Severus raised his eyes casually to whoever accompanied him. At the sight of Hermione his eyes clicked from Snape to her and back again. He stared at her intensely for a moment and something in his eyes made her shiver. A look that plainly said soon she would no longer be the same Hermione Granger.

"Why do you suggest this Severus?"

"Because my Lord she is a dangerous creature who isn't afraid to _bite_. A few hours in the dungeons should do her some good, don't you think?"

Voldemort eyed Hermione up and down and Hermione decided to play along with Severus. She scowled pulling against him slightly and began to make false noises against the 'pain'. She hoped it would be enough to convince Voldemort, or would he see right through her?

"Yes. Yaxley?" The Dark Lord called calmly behind him.

"Yes my Lord?"

"Bring in the other."

Yaxley bowed and left, heading down a small corridor and into a crooked room. Only momentarily after he left, a girls scream was heard. A heart wrenching, bellowing scream echoed around the hall and Hermiones pulse sped and pounded prominently through her chest. Yaxley re-appeared, dragging the girl by the scruff of her neck and throwing her on to the rug in the centre of the room. The girl was barely dressed and dried blood stained the shirt she was wearing. Hermione closed her eyes and tried not to cry. Her blood went cold and her heart threatened to beat through her skin. The sharp tug from Severus, pulling her away, was a comfort; she needed to escape, just from _this _room.

He dragged her swiftly to the cool dungeons and pushed her in, never faltering his mask. She wanted to speak to him, to hold him but she knew she needed to be brave.

Hermione sat on the cool floor and looked around the shadows. According to her no one else accompanied her in the dark cell but she couldn't be sure. She shivered violently at the coldness and the continuous screams of the girl who was much, much less fortunate than her. The poor tormented girl who could not be saved like she could. Tears welled up in Hermione's eyes and a small sob escaped her chest.

"I wouldn't cry if I were you." Came a husk voice from the corner of the shadows.

Hermione froze, tears not faltering to flow.

"Who's there?" she asked shakily.

The man cackled once.

"You know me by the name of Gareth."

Hermione shivered in pure disgust, not only by his dark voice but that fact that he once was a DeathEater.

She tried to breathe, stop the sudden hyperventilating that started in her chest and overwhelmed her. She wanted Severus, that was all. Gareth shuffled from the shadows and his face was suddenly illuminated in the dim light of the dungeons. His face was badly bruised and beaten and his clothes slightly torn.

Hermione blinked, willing this to be a dream. Gareth stood and walked towards her and for a moment, stood above her. Hermione was sick of this. She sat up to her full height and shook her head stubbornly.

"What do you want?"

He smirked.

"Don't worry lovey, I'm not gonna – "

Another scream reverberated upstairs. He looked up through the ceiling. After a short minute he cleared his throat.

"When it's your turn, don't struggle. They torture just you more." No compassion lived in his voice.

Hermione stood.

"And what makes you think It'll ever be my turn!" she whispered angrily.

He searched her eyes, bore his own into hers in bewilderment.

A door opened above the staircase leading to the dungeons and shoes began to click on each stone step. Gareth raised an eyebrow at her in a "you were saying" fashion before quickly trotting over to his corner and sitting amongst the shadows again. The footsteps came closer and Hermione stood facing the door, unable to move and tears spilling down her cheeks.

The door slammed open and Yaxley stood resolutely in the hallway. Within moments he had moved inside, grabbed her harshly and was dragging her up the stone steps. As if a building collapsing inside her, she couldn't handle this anymore. Tears dripped from her face with speed as everything overwhelmed her. Severus had promised nothing would happen, she thought.

As Yaxley dragged her forcefully into the sitting room she glanced around through blurred eyes but quickly snapped them shut. A stifled bawl protruded from her lungs and she shut her eyes tighter, turning and attempting to push against Yaxley so she could leave. She couldn't stay here, not with the girl lying on the floor, dead. Quietly she continued to convulse as Yaxley clasped his arms around her and pulled her further inside.

The girl was being dragged away as Hermione was thrown to the rug. She aimed to swallow and failed, but tried again. She tried to calm herself, think of a way out. She sucked in a deep breath and looked up at Yaxley who was waiting at the other end of the room looking perturbed

"We must wait for Severus Yaxley. He wants the first go." Voldemort's chilling voice cut through any heat in the room and Hermione tried to remain in control of herself. She took deep breaths waiting for Severus, knowing he'd have a plan.


	8. As Sweet As Death

**Thanks to everyone for reading and reviews so far. Warning though, this chapter is quite graphic etc. Enjoy though! Let me know what you think.**

Severus entered the dark room, looking up begrudgingly to see which Death Eater was violating the young girl now. When he glanced to the rug however he almost froze in shock but reminded himself where he was.  
>"My Lord?" he asked inquisitively, seeming intrigued.<br>"Severus we've been waiting. I saved the Potter girl, so you could be first." drawled the red-eyed man as he held out an arm, gesturing to her as if she were new furniture. Hermione's eyes flickered towards him from the rug, screaming to him silently. Severus stepped forward, the only way he could save her from Death or matters worse. He needed to do something. As he made his way surely towards her, Voldemort's almost impatient voice stopped him in his tracks.  
>"Severus" he called, holding out a small dagger.<br>"Use it." he chimed, satanic.  
>Snape felt his stomach churn. Hermione wailed. Taking the knife he stretched out on top of her.<br>"Mudblood." he sneered, portraying hate with close to inadequacy. Her eyes, scared that he was betraying her bore into him.  
>"Lie back." he snarled. She did as she was told.<br>He ripped her pants from her, leaving her bottom half bare, in his mind trying to decipher the horrific inevitable. Parts of her body flicked through his mind as he tried to decide where to cut. This beautiful body beneath him that he treasured each time he had made love to her. He was going to be sick, in fact bile was rising up to his mouth but he swallowed it back.  
>He had now unbuttoned his pants and was pumping, trying for an erection. His body defied his mind. He slid in relentlessly and she was choking on her breath, unable to accept this was happening, staring at the blade. He leant over her. He wanted her to open her eyes, look up at him through his black curtain of hair so he could look back into those beautiful orbs with his undeserving ones and show her he didn't mean any of this. But she didn't and he could fell the impatience radiating from the Dark Lord. As horrifying as it was, he slid the knife across a small section of her wrist, as gently as one could.<p>

She couldn't deal with the pain, torture and deceit anymore. She couldn't find the energy to scream. She could not find one spec or glimpse of life inside of her. All that was left was a darkness. A darkness filled with a gale that fought against her. Whirled around her and eventually ripped and burned her into ashes. This gale was the thought that she hated Severus, that she wished him dead. Yet something, deep inside her loved him still and wanted plainly just to hold him. But this could not happen either so she could only resort to one thing andthis one thing would mean seperation from him forever. That was what ripped her inch from inch inside.  
>"Kill me. Just kill me. It's not worth it anymore." she croaked.<p>

Where is the Order? he cursed inwardly. They know where we are and said they would come for her! He too wanted to scream, roar. He also felt bile creeping slowly back to greet his throat at what she had just uttered to him but he swallowed once again.  
>Feigning loss of mental control and gaining pleasure, but really raging with anger, he slid the blade across the stone floor as far away from her as he could and with some effort, came. He didn't want to move away, he needed to save her. He didn't want to view his doing. But he couldn't linger. Standing up and zipping his trousers Severus cleared his throat.<br>"She's loose Yaxley, nothing you would like very much" he mused, wanting to throw himself off the astronomy tower.  
>"Yes and she screams too much" replied Yaxley plainly.<br>"Maybe later." he said wandering away without another thought.  
>"Severus." Voldemort spoke up.<br>"Yes my Lord?" Severus asked as calmly as he could play calm at this stage.  
>"She needs more time in the dungeons."<br>Severus nodded, striding to Hermione and picking her up. He quickly paced from the room, holding her far from his body, as if disgusted by her, until they were alone. He then stroked the hair from her face gently, shedding only the small tears he could risk releasing.  
>"Hermione" he whispered but she simply kept her eyes scrunched closed. He closed the door to the stairway of the dungeons and made his way down quickly. Once inside he lay her gently on the floor looking over her cuts. Knowing Gareth was there he whipped out his wand and stunned him, knocking him unconscious.<br>"Hermione" he whispered desperately "I know you despise me now more than anyone you will ever despise but I promise you-" her eyes flickered, still closed, he choked slightly. "- I promise that I would never do that willing to anyone, especially you."  
>She said nothing. Did nothing.<br>"The Order is coming for you now, I've told them to come. Is that clear? You won't have to be near me any longer."  
>He waited for her to reply, just so he knew she was aware she would be saved. She began to shake her head violently.<br>"What is it?" he asked, barely able to speak.  
>"I don't want to be saved; I have nothing to live for anymore. Please, just kill me here." she spoke of such things as if she were asking the time. A simple request. But he fought for her.<br>"No Hermione. You won't die tonight. You're going to live a long plentiful life. You will have libraries dedicated to you, a husband who can provide everything you need and desire. A life without me." he added finally.  
>As he looked her over he couldn't help but rage and think for only a moment that he would kill slowly and painfully whoever had done this to her yet when he snuck out of his momentary denial, his body threatened to crumble.<br>He continued to speak to her, trying to fill her mind with images of warmth and love so she would forget her predicament. Mid sentence he heard crashes from upstairs. Along with Remus Lupin's, Kingsley's and many other member orders voices.  
>"See Hermione, they're here." He had resorted to speaking to her as if she was a child and he her mother in his state of shock. He removed his cloak wrapping it around her. Kingsley stumbled down the dungeon stairs with his wand alight.<p>

Severus scooped Hermione into his arms, frantically handing her to Shackelbolt.  
>"Take her - " he whispered hurriedly. " Now! Don't wait for the others."<br>Shakelbolt nodded, disapperating.  
>Severus, picturing how he had just seen her, remembering that it was him who had done it to her and knowing this would be the last time he would ever see her or speak to her, finally leant over and wretched, vomiting in the cold dungeons.<p> 


	9. After Everything

**A Year Later.**

There was the small creak of the door and Hermione's eyes fixed on the dark shadow from the hallway, with thick black hair. She fumbled, sitting up and pushing the hard body rested against her away. The dark figure swerved and billowed down the hall, his resonating footsteps a clock, ticking the finality of their time together. Quickly she threw on a string top and knickers and sprinted after him, slamming the dungeon doors open.

"Severus." She called quietly, hoping he would hear.

She followed him to the entrance hall and saw he had stopped walking.

"Severus." She called desperately again.

"What?" he snapped half-heartedly.

She stood anxiously in front of him, debating how to explain but there wasn't really anything she could say.

"I'm sorry." She closed her eyes, knowing that the words sounded stupid and meaningless.

"After everything that has happened…"

She swallowed. In each syllable she could hear how miserable he was.

"I know." She choked.

They stood there like that for a minute, time never moving forward until a clinking of metal came from the dungeons and into the hall. Remus Lupin walked abashed looking towards them. He stood near them for a minute, as if watching two statues. Severus refused to look at either of them and Hermione intently watched his back. Remus cleared his throat gently and ambled away.

"We didn't sleep together." The sentence clung to every wall.

Severus' mouth was pressed into a hard line, his entire body tensed. He slowly faced her.

"Alright." He gave a small nod of acceptance. Guilt from their exchange less than twelve months ago, still pocketed away somewhere. He watched her face as it fell. She clenched her eyes closed. She couldn't cry, she was beyond crying. Severus stepped forward almost reluctant to touch her, as if she were a deer that he might frighten. But when his arms enveloped her she melted into him, brittle and fragile.

He rested his head into her brown locks and glanced down to her limp arms and legs. They were bare, only a brown string top and knickers covering her skin. He could see the scars he had inflicted, shiny red and plump along her arms. Closing his eyes he sucked in a deep breath, a shiver running down his spine. He didn't deserve her. Whatever she did.

"I know what you think."

His face crinkled into a frown, his eyes ceasing to open.

"Severus I know I don't deserve you. I put you in danger with the Death Eaters and –"

Before she could finish his lips were crushing hers, his hands holding her cheeks firmly. She kissed him back fully, swallowing any sadness.

"You – I- " words failed him as he tried to describe that he was to blame for everything. So he kissed her again. As he kissed her he smoothly ran his hands along the length of her arms and rested them against the dark scars, stroking them with his thumbs. She knew he blamed himself. He refused to ignore the scars and tried to prove to her everyday that he would make it up to her. He pulled back and rested his head on her head, nuzzling into her hair.

"Do you understand? That it's all my fault."

She shook her head defiantly wanting to argue but feeling too drained, exhausted. She simply clung to him. He sighed heavily.

"Don't you love me anymore?" he croaked, his tongue barely moving.

Hermione felt as if she had been punched severely in the stomach, winded and all she could say was "I'm sorry." Again. But when the words played back in her mind she was frustrated with them and spoke again.

"I love you."

He merely nodded and gently slid his fingers through hers and slowly walked with her to the dungeons.

The bed groaned as Hermione sank into it. Severus lay next to her in the dark, continuing to stroke her arms and planting a soft kiss on her shoulder. The scars tingled in memory. Hermione's eyes were heavy now and she slowly drifted off to sleep, content that he was with her.

Hermione woke and felt around the sheets aimlessly for someone who was not there.

She sat at breakfast, next to Remus.

"Everything alright from last night?" he asked anxiously.

Hermione nodded and smiled, barely.

"Yes, It's fine."

A genuine smile crossed his face and he gave her hand a small pat, stoking it.

After breakfast Hermione had no classes to teach so went for a stroll around the lake. It was May; the weather was beginning to warm and birds fluttered around the hefty trees, avoiding the Womping Willow. Hermione stared across the glittering lake, at what seemed like a minute stone across the river. She couldn't see it properly from here but she knew its attributes by heart and even by standing across the lake from it felt as if it were a foot from her. In her head she pictured its engravings.

Here lies Severus Snape, loved, missed and a true hero of the Wizarding World. Died 16th March.

Hermione eyelids fluttered closed as she pictured him. The last time she had seen him was his day of death, the day he both saved and tortured her. Voldemort had known from that day that Severus had betrayed him but waited, to force him on Hermione before ambushing and killing him. She pictured him now smiling at her. Not like she last saw him. In Hermione's mind, the last time she ever saw Severus Snape was the

15th of March. The day they met in the library of Grimmauld Place. The scars on her arms prickled and she acknowledged them for a moment before making her way slowly but surely to the dungeons, to teach her potions class.

**The end.**


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